i've got a gun in my hand but that gun won't cock
My finger's on the trigger but that trigger seems locked
and I can't stop staring at the tick tock clock
and even if I could I would never give up.
With a vest on my chest, a bullet in my lung
I can't believe I'm dying with my song unsung.
And if and when I die won't you bury me alone?
'Cause I'll never get to heaven if I'm singing this song.
If there was something wrong would you be oh so strong?
Would you do what it takes to move this hollow life along?
I'd like to think I would, you know I'd like to think I would
but I can guarantee that what you see is not reality
and every time she makes a point, I make a counterpoint
She said it's easy but in the end you'll have no choice
and you know that's only just the way that it goes
You said it right man, That is just the way that it goes
And the days, and the days they seem like forever
And the days, and the days they seem like forever
But forever isn't ever enough!!
I'd like to sing a song
Promise you won't be long!
I'll try not to be long but I don't want to get this story wrong
There was a kid who never cared about the little things
Don't even bother because I'm tired and I'm sick of it
And every time she makes a point, I'll make a counterpoint!
She said It's easy but in the end you'll have no choice
And you know that's only just the way that it goes
You said it right man, that is just the way that it goes
I've got a gun in my hand but that gun won't cock
And my finger's on the trigger but that trigger seems locked
and I can't stop staring at the tick tock clock
and even if I could I would never give up.
With a vest on my chest, a bullet in my lung
I can't believe I'm dying with my song unsung.
And if and when I die won't you bury me alone?
Oh, you don't know where I've been!
Oh, you don't know what I've seen!
So tell me friend, how's it going to end?
When the shit goes down and there's no one left around to get your back
You'll crack
You'll smile and agree with everything they say
They'll try to tell you that it's all okay
But it's not and you're shot and you're bleeding pretty bad
And you can't stop thinking about the things you never had
Like a wife and a kid and the things you never did
You're running around
You're living a life that's empty in the end, my friend
No, you'll take back all you've said
Oh, when the regrets fill your head
Trust me I've been there before
I would not wish it upon my greatest enemy
What irony!
Once friends, but I find
You'll have to learn this lesson on your own
So I waited by the phone but that phone never rang
and I sang so loud so I wouldn't hear the bang
When the bang never came and I never got the call
Fuck It! Thank You! I Love You All!
Some are going to say that we're doomed to repeat
all our past mistakes
Great!
But that's not me
and even if it was I would always disagree
Because in the end I always get the better of me
I've got a gun in my hand but that gun won't cock
And my finger's on the trigger but that trigger seems locked
and I can't stop staring at the tick tock clock
and even if I could I would never give up.
With a vest on my chest, a bullet in my lung
I can't believe I'm dying with my song unsung.
And if and when I die won't you bury me alone?
Oh, I'll take you where I've been!
Oh, I'll show you what I've seen!
On July 14 2009
3 Views
xucrutao
On 14/07/2009
One year ago today,
I tossed away, a quarter that I should've saved.
I faked a farewell fantasy and misbehaved.
I never made an effort.
My conscience went.
After all the time I spent.
The dollars that I dropped on you,
I thought you'd say you miss me too.
So here I am, a friend, the end,
I meant to disregard that birthday card,
nailed upon your wall he sent.
I meant to turn my eyes from everything.
I shouldn't see.
An oath I took, you kissed my cheek.
Cried yourself to sleep,
but never would you admit to me.
I always laughed when you laughed.
Cried when you cried.
Danced when you danced.
I lied.
San Francisco payphone. So far from home.
So many friends, and I'm alone.
I faked a farewell fantasy.
I lied. You bother me.
My conscience gone.
This conversation's dragging on.
There was once upon a time when you would miss me too.
So here I am, a friend, the end,
I meant to disregard that birthday card,
nailed upon your wall he sent.
I meant to turn my eyes from everything.
Never made a promise.
An oath I took, I kissed your cheek.
Cried myself to sleep,
I won't admit that you see.
I always laughed when you laughed.
Cried when you cried.
Danced when you danced.
I lied.
xucrutao
On 14/07/2009
It kills me not to know this but I've all but just forgotten
What the color of her eyes were and her scars or how she got them
As the telling signs of age rain down a single tear is dropping
Through the valleys of an aging face that this world has forgotten
There is no reconciliation that will put me in my place
And there is no time like the present to drink these draining seconds
But seldom do these words ring true when I'm constantly failing you
Like walls that we just can't break through until we disappear
So tell me now
If this ain't love then how do we get out?
Because I don't know
That's when she said I don't hate you boy
I just want to save you while there's still something left to save
That's when I told her I love you girl
But I'm not the answer for the questions that you still have
But the day pressed on like crushing weights
For no man does it ever wait
Like memories of dying days
That deafen us like hurricanes
Bathed in flames we held the brand
Uncurled the fingers in your hand
Pressed into the flesh like sand
Now do you understand?
1000 miles away
There's nothing left to say
But so much left that I don't know
We never had a choice
This world is too much noise
It takes me under
It takes me under once again
I don't hate you
I don't hate you
xucrutao
On 14/07/2009
From the crawlspace under the floor
Turned away from your front door
I'm in your memories
I'm in your memories
Don't turn your back on me
I'm part of what you used to be
(Don't turn your back on me)
(Don't turn your back on me)
You fly along the stratosphere
Forget the people that brought you here
You fly along the stratosphere
Forget the people that brought you here
Shimmy, shimmy my way down underground
Got a lot to do, got a lot to lose
Shimmy, shimmy my way down underground
Got a lot to do, got a lot to lose
I'll always treat you well
But you won't accept the change
I'll always treat you well
But you won't accept the change
I'll always treat you well
But you won't accept the change
You fly along the stratosphere
Forget the people that brought you here
You fly along the stratosphere
Forget the people that brought you here
Shimmy, shimmy my way down underground
Got a lot to do, got a lot to lose
Shimmy, shimmy my way down underground
Got a lot to do, got a lot to lose
I'll save your ass a thousand times
Put your body bag inside of mine
I'm back on top of a fucking cloud
The big bang is so goddamn loud
Run the play, man, run the play
1969, 2012 today
Moon walking in my leather shoes
I don't have a fucking clue
xucrutao
On 14/07/2009
Im so tired of the phone baby
I dont like the tone of the way we
Say I love you a thousand times
We say those words but we cant look into each others eyes
Oh and I guess we made it
Or at least made it this far
And it all looks smooth from here
Oh and in a future day there may be waves but I must say the skies
Have never looked so clear
Oh and I guess we made it
Cause it aint far to go from here
Im so tired of the road baby
Driving through the snow and just maybe
Youll sit back
Think about the times
When we said those words
And we looked into each others eyes
And you have given me a heart attack youll never know
What its like to have to face the fact you might let go
And I wont stand for any thought of that, heavens no
Cause I will cling to you and always have a stronger hold
xucrutao
On 14/07/2009
Did we lose our loyalty?
I want to hear your screams behind me.
We'll rally, we'll fight and we'll feel the weight of being free.
But people won't say one fucking thing when something's wrong.
And this greedy world needs more people like you.
So I can get away with anything that I want
and make you all look like fucking fools.
Now we're proud to stand with our backs turned to you.
xucrutao
On 14/07/2009
10:00 I was gonna write a letter but at 1:00 is when I opened up my eyes. 3:00 turned into 5:00. I watched the day pass me by. 6:00 I was changing through the channels. And at 8:00 the stationary called my name. 9:00 the time I stopped impossible that day I didn't speak. Dear loving friend I meant to write shoudl've but the time just wasn't right. Some things I'd rather leave unsaid and I'm sorry that I did. So here's a letter that I never sent with all the words I never said. I never wanted you to leave but you left said I never wanna hold you back but I want to hold you back. Sincerely yours.
xucrutao
On 14/07/2009
Mostly I'm an optamist,
bore my bad news and still persist
goin on about my problems say,
what's wrong with our world today?
It may sound funny, but I give you all my money,
and keep on going without a doubt.
I never thought I would make it this far,
stumbling between every nightclub and bar.
Every time I seem to catch my big break,
the man call me up says there's been a mistake.
Who can I count on? What can I count on?
Where should I turn to? Why should I be with you?
It may sound funny, but I give you all my money,
and keep on going without a doubt.
The good times playin, sayin life is good,
it could be better, don't you dare, go ahead give up.
From day to day I could get so depressed,
but I've never paid someone to be opressed
in my life when shit hits the fan,
I simply sit back and follow the plan.
It may sound funny, but I give you all my money,
and keep on going without a doubt.
The good times playin, sayin life is good,
it could be better, don't you dare, go ahead give up.
Who can I count on? What can I count on?
Where should I turn to? Why should I be with you?
It may sound funny, but I give you all my money,
and keep on going without a doubt.
The good times playin, sayin life is good,
it could be better, don't you dare go ahead give up.
xucrutao
On 14/07/2009
Close your eyes real tight underneath the city lights.
You can't hear the noise below your room.
Take a real deep breath and get those feelings off your chest.
We'll work it out and wake up in each others' arms.
Underneath it's never over. Looking back over my shoulder.
We always said that we would meet again when we were ten years older.
I hadn't thought about her in a while until she showed up in a dream I had lying listless in a bed
with a string of broken hearts hanging from her finger.
I said, "Let's take a drive with a pack of camel lights into the middle of nowhere and talk about our lives."
And hear me say listen up, Silence.
Can't let it go, Got to get it out.
Listen up, Silence.
Can't let it go, Got to get it out.
Chin up, chin up, untill it touches the moon
Sad and forsaken one, it's you I'm talking to.
You can't it back? You can't take it back?
That's bullshit. I took it and crushed it and painted it black.
I swallowed the match. It's burning at my insides.
And hear me say listen up, Silence.
Can't let it go, Got to get it out.
Listen up, Silence.
Can't let it go, Got to get it out.
Chin up, chin up, untill it touches the moon
Sad and forsaken one, it's you I'm talking to.
Close your eyes real tight underneath the city lights.
You can't hear the noise below your room.
Take a real deep breath and get those feelings off your chest.
Work it out and wake up in each others' arms.
Underneath it's never over. Looking back over my shoulder.
xucrutao
On 14/07/2009
She wanted me to tell you to leave.
She wanted me to let you know that you don't understand her, she just needs some time to breathe.
She couldn't have told you better herself cuz she was in love with somebody else.
I don't know why I had to be the messenger boy.
I guess that somebody was me.
Don't know what you got till it's gone.
Don't know what you did so wrong.
Don't know what you got till it's gone.
Don't know why you did it so wrong.
She wanted me to tell her my fears.
She wanted me to let it all go.
I don't know why I said it. I just can't trust anyone, I knew she was true.
I never liked the sound of being along much.
Just one touch to help with the coldness.
Persuasion was a trait the she held in her hand when she took mine, and I understood then.
Don't know what you got till it's gone.
Don't know what you did so wrong.
Don't know what you got till it's gone.
Don't know why you did it so wrong.
and I did you wrong.
You said I was just like him, but that's where you're wrong.
He never wrote you a love song.
It seemed like no sooner than I got my feet on the ground, the words slipped away.
and baby, I hear you.
know what you're saying and I feel it too.
You've got something I've never had.
The kind of love I can sing about
and you're hearing me now, hear me now.
xucrutao
On 14/07/2009
The needle on my record player has been wearing thin
This record has been playing since the day you've been with him
No more long rides home
No more of your station
I didn't like it anyway
Remember the time we wrote our names up on the wall
Remember the time we realized "Thriller" was our favorite song
Have I waited too long
Have I found that someone
Have I waited too long
To see you
Maybe it's for the best
Maybe it's not for anything
It wouldn't be so bad to take this right from me
No more long rides home
No more of your station
I didn't like it anyway
Remember the time we wrote our names up on the wall
Remember the time we realized "Thriller" was our favorite song
Have I waited too long
Have I found that someone
Have I waited too long
To see you
How many times I've tried
It's simple to you, so simple to lie
How many times I've tried
Blatant mistakes of your design
Have I waited too long
Have I found that someone
Have I wanted too long
To see you
I've had so many chances
Turn my back and I ran away
I've had so many chances
To see you
xucrutao
On 14/07/2009
I know it's hard for you
To understand what I'm going through
But now I sit here to remind myself
You're always dressed to kill
And you feel like you owe it to the world
But you owe it to yourself
And you're, you're not here
And I can't stop pretending
That you're forever mine...
And I
I can't dream anymore since you left
I miss you singing me to sleep
I can't wake anymore in your arms
I miss you singing me to sleep
Cheer up my friends all say
You're better alone anyways
But you're always on tour
And you're never home
I'm always dressed to kill
And I feel like I owe it to the world
But I owe it to myself
And you're, you're not here
And I can't stop pretending
That you're forever mine...
And I
I can't dream anymore since you left
I miss you singing me to sleep
I can't wake anymore in your arms
I miss you singing me to sleep
Cheer up my friends all say...
And I can't stop pretending
That you're forever mine
You're better alone anyways
And you're not here, not here
I can't dream anymore since you left
I miss you singing me to sleep
I can't wake anymore in your arms
I miss you singing me to sleep
Cheer up my friends all say...
xucrutao
On 14/07/2009
I don't want you to know too much about me, oh no.
'Cause I know you'll take advantage of the words that I say.
You're looking for a way to depress me, make me pay.
You don't want me to be,
too close around you 'cause I would see.
All the weak sides that you got, bout which you're trying to hide.
You know that I would nail you if I could nurse my pride.
You're on the top when I'm low.
As soon as you're fading I will grow.
I don't like you. You don't like me.
We're lacking energy. Yeah, we're lacking energy.
It's a mindgame we play.
Rule the roost, major cliche.
While one of us is fit the other's going insane.
And every time we think the positions will remain.
You're on the top when I'm low.
As soon as you're fading I will grow.
I don't like you. You don't like me.
We're lacking energy. Yeah, we're lacking energy.
So you got me up against the wall
and I'm only waiting for your fall.
I'll get back on top and be carefree.
It's not the end for me, no It's not the end for me.
I know we're thinking the same
and our opponent's the one to blame.
Thinking this way is not something we both longed for.
Living this way is never something we did plan.
But I don't think we will change.
'cause we're stuck in roles as other's antipoles.
xucrutao
On 14/07/2009
And if there's nothing left to say
I'll string you along until I get my way
Use all those subtle inquiries
Like I want to know if you aim to please
And if you want to dance
If she wants to lead, I won't mind
Let's try this all again only faster now
Now go ahead and pretend I'm your master now
And if you want to dance, if she wants to lead
I'll go out of my way, I'll do anything
And one word is all I need
And if
You know it's all in your mind
Take your time with this one
You both deserve a good time
In every position that I can think of
If you want to dance, if she wants to leave
I'll go out of my way. I'll do anything
And one word is all I need
Let's try this all again, only faster now
Now go ahead and pretend I'm your master now
And if you want to dance, if she wants to lead
I'll go out of my way to make you believe
That your love is all I need
xucrutao
On 14/07/2009
As one sits and waits
For something to happen
I too sat and waited for you to call
Well, I waited too long and thought
Hey maybe I should call you
But by then you had already gone.
Its Friday night, I wanted to go out
I didn't want to go to no show
Didn't want to cruise main street
I didn't want to go to no disco (no no)
I just wanted you to come over
Sit on the couch and hold me tight
But you went out with some dumb jock
And left me alone
With my skateboard tonight.
Now I'm out on my skateboard
And I'm pushing so hard
I'm pushing so hard
I want to see if I can see
If you're still home
But the lights aren't on
And you were gone
So on my way home alone
I took a short cut through the park
And just my luck
You were sitting in his truck
You were making out
With him In the dark!
Why'd you go and change your mind?
You can pick and choose
But with him you're gonna loose
Every time
xucrutao
On 14/07/2009
shave it off!
well i see too many
of them walking around
dirt on their face no hair to be found
well they walk in malls and they walk in packs
dirt on their lip and we can't have that,
smoke look rough, look bad,
look mean this media-tough kid only about 13
where the hell is mom, where the hell is pop
get a razor blade this has gotta stop
(dirt lip shave it off dirt lip it's gotta stop dirt lip just wait five years it's not a mustache, it's not a beard)
when i was a headbanger i got beat up
five dirt lips yeah that was enough
well i guess by now my mind's gone wack
my friends say man you just gotta relax,
soap helps dirt helps you keep clean to end dirt lips is now my dream
if you see one walk by well just give 'em a smack i'll shave their lips and i'll shave their back
well i always wonder if they see it at
all if they comb or groom it or just think it's bald,
cause the hair on your lip is like the hair on my arm it's like the hair on a mole,
so don't act so alarmed dirt lips taken all size and shape
they can start at 9 and cover any age burn it,
bleach it, nair it or just masking tape, just get rid of it all it's not too late
xucrutao
On 14/07/2009
he never minded - he never cared - he walks with his shirt off
- he walks and we stare don't laugh, don't mock, don't snicker don't point,
he's happy to be alive he's happy that's the point
well i think that
they're all called charlie yet probably not,
they're always sweating buckets, skins beating red hot,
well it's like do you think you'll make it home ok, because step after step
you'll be digging your grave they're good they got it they know what they
need life's better for them for them i see,
they ignore what they hate and keep what they like,
this time i'm going to do it right
- see him, in a store walking down the aisle,
on his face a great big smile can't be certain move from side to side,
celebrating living is his passion and his pride out of control, asleep at the wheel,
dave's got a friend and his name is neil
he never minded - he never cared - he walks with his shirt off
- he walks and we stare don't laugh, don't mock, don't snicker don't point,
he's happy to be alive he's happy that's the point
a beached whale he tries to flip over now, can't, move, sand, what,
tries to thrash around while the tide starts to move in, god i hope
charlie swims now a red bellies floating around,
all the kids are jumping off him on the beach there's a crowd,
he doesn't mind in fact i think i see a smile, fatman's playing all the while,
thinking of the time when he thought that no one cared, celebrating apathy controlled yet unaware
wondering if people thought that he was dumb
xucrutao
On 14/07/2009
standing with everyone you do what they all do you talk and agree but you still have no clue your smile's like a mask just for us to see but it's getting hotter inside and it's getting hard to breathe, yesterday you're something, you're something that you're not, yesterday you're something, you're something that you're not, today you're something, you're something that you're not, you're hard to figure out you're hard to figure out, are you who you said - well i can't tell, i can't tell - are you real with me - well i can't tell at all (is that what you're like or are you just scared) where did you get that off the tv or a trend who are you trying to be like, like an actor or a band i liked you much better when you just didn't care didn't care about how you were acting or what you had to wear, one day you put down something the next day it's who you are you get so caught up in their crap you'll try anything when you're the star how can they change you so quickly you are led am i talking to you or is who i know dead.
xucrutao
On 14/07/2009
home town
hamilton
quiet place
want to leave
good friends
good times
my old car
singing beach
camp sight
river woods
swilly night
caught police
can't leave!
can't change!
can't stop!
another week!
(gotta stay!) i gotta stay right here and now
(gotta stay!) stuck right in my town
(gotta stay!) this place was great back then for me
(gotta stay!) it's not exactly were i wanna be
[(when your life's built like a cell) you can't find a way out
(when your life's built like a cell) stuck inside my whole life
we can't be caught, we can't be caught we can't be caught, no we can't be caught in a four wall way of life
i won't be caught , i won't be caught , i won't be caught, no i won't be caught cause i can see more than in sight)
work hard
shit job
no respect
killing me
lose sight
lose time
friend girl
can't meet
make rent
food drinks
soap lights tv
can't leave
can't change
can't stop
another week
It's hard when you're stuck in your town and you can't get out
xucrutao
On 14/07/2009
I could not ever see myself just packing up and taking off
Just to fall asleep and work again
I will not count my sleep hours, Let 'em all just have me all groggy and incoherent
I just met a crazy girl who's sane so I'm not about to leave just yet
Only and idiot would say "Right on, I'll see ya." Just to go home and think what coulda been
We've both finished ripping off all the labels on the pantry cans
We've all succeeded hurling the t.v. still plugged in down the front stairs
So why not?
Cause we can stay if we want to
She could not ever think of leaving, everyone she knows is never all in the same place
The eight hours she spends hardly working, with this she would gladly replace
All she wants is what we want: free time laughing with no designated end
She told me "I will not be a slave to time, time must learn to roll with me."
So why not? Why not?
Cause we can stay if we want to
Cause we don't care like they do
It cannot stop too many of us laughing each other on
We cannot stop we need more trouble before the night is gone
So why not? Why not? Why not?
Cause we can stay if we want to
Cause we don't care like they do
So why not? Why not? Why not? Why not?
Cause we can stay if we want to
Cause we don't care like they do
Yeah we can stay if we want to
Cause I'm gonna stay as long as you do
As long as you do
xucrutao
On 14/07/2009
In my mind you never left
Falling wasn't true
I had faith you flew past the sky
Straight through the night
And the sun reflects the night
Carrying the very same thing
In your heart that saved me
But maybe you've stopped listening
Falling on my selfish ways
It takes faith to see
So close your eyes and search
Deeper than just memories
I never stopped believing in you and me
Your leaving never changed things
I've been here for too long
To just walk away
tattooland
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