that is me turning around in front of a historical museum in ulyanovsk, russia. it is located on goncharov street, if i am not mistaken, and right behind the photographer there was an unassuming stand that sold the most flavorful pirozhkis. i miss it.
i have just finished looking through all the pictures i posted here since 2007. still feeling nostalgic about all of them. i missed a couple of birthdays this past tuesday, feb. 15th, not to count a very important one in january. i didn't forget about them, but i wasn't able to reach either one of the people who celebrated another year a few days ago. i wasn't part of their year.
i know i'm going to miss about twenty or thirty more birthdays as the year goes by, but i have to come to terms with that, because i chose not to be around to bake cakes and sing happy birthday to those dear individuals.
i knew it all along, that i would never be able to keep up with my lives here and there. my classes, volunteer work, club and committee meetings and hours of self-teaching language courses only allow me enough time to come back here, perhaps make some phone calls, and then go back to this reality, where everybody is always rushing to get to places.
i met someone quite unbelievable last Halloween; he spoke three languages and planned on going to Harvard for grad. school. i should have posted some pictures of us here, we went to beautiful places together. the only problem was neither of us wanted to let go of our paths and final destinations, and they are very far away, so i had to let him go follow his yellow bricks while i kept on following mine. it was hard, but i had done that before with everybody i knew in my hometown, my friends from the capital, and even internet friends. i am a strong believer that there is something really good waiting for me at some point, because i need a reason to keep on going, you see?
sometimes i wish i could still get news from you guys, though. in september i got a birthday card on the mail from some fernanda i haven't spoken to in quite a while. when i started writing a reply, i felt so ashamed of having distanced myself the way i did that i couldn't write a word on the paper. i loved that birthday card, it was so kind and cheerful.
for that reason, i am humbly asking everybody that stumbles across this post to send me an e-mail at settledownfrancis@gmail.com with their phone number if they wish to receive a call on their birthday and/or on other occasions. i have so much to say!
arrivederci :)
On February 19 2011
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