My novel Unforgettable' 36/44
Kei felt that Osawa’s voice shook with anger. Kei cast Osawa a glance quietly. Kei was deeply distressed to see Osawa’s eyes fallen on outside. His eyes did not show anger, even not pity with kind of contempt. They were just clear pupils like those of boys. Kei peeped Osawa’s look from his long forelock. His eyes looked as if he will never be an adult who shattered his dream that he had in his childhood.
Osawa sipped a cup of coffee and said.
“And to me you just look like them. Perhaps Kaori who has seen you has the same feeling as mine. That’s why she worries about you. She hopes you will not be one of them.”
Kei searched his memory for some of her words. There were some he could recall clearly, but some words had already become vague and were going out of his memory. A kind of sound was lost in the image of Kaori who came across Key’s mind.
Osawa shifted his eyes to the display again. And then the quiet, intermittent noise of touching the keys correctly sounded delicately like raindrops and fell on the corner of the table.
“My father was just an officer of a town hall. I went to the hall with my friend to see how he works. At the counter, my father was contending with an old man, who was so called “a claimer” today. I still remember that my father constantly tapped the counter with his fingertips, irritated by a stream of abuse.
The busy movement of his fingers irritated even me. My father was irritated because he could not answer well. He reacted endlessly to the problem, which didn’t seem to be agreed, at the window and there was no air of showing to the claimer to another room. I couldn’t understand what they were arguing, but a trifling matter, I guess. I thought that not only my farther but also the claimer was stupid. Their talk was a kind of faultfinding each other. It was like going on adding 0 to 0 without end. It never totals to 1. Nothing is born by just knocking each other. There was no positive passion for opening up something.
I was disillusioned with my father’s service. He hoped to make me an officer and live in security, but it was obvious that I would not obey him as I was still young. In fact, it seemed to me that my father’s consideration was just trying to secure his life exactly. “Get out of here!” my father bawled at me for falling short of his expectations. So I left my house. When I was in my third year of high school, I came to Tokyo with a little money from my mother. And my father died of heart attack. It was just a year before drawing his pension.”
Osawa’s mouth was closed lightly and his eyes flashed. It was the cool gaze that Kei had seen before. Osawa looked out of the window. In the back of the eyes, a red neon lamp on the street sparkled for a moment. He blinked the eyelids lightly and looked at the display again.
“I had a favorite music program which I had loved since a pupil. I had been tied up listening to music through a radio. I still remember a radio program that I listened to those days, and the boss at that time and I work together now. He was, so to speak, my father. He closely cautioned me about that on-air. It is society. I was called by the board and roared repeatedly, but all of them were a matter of principle. On the night when we apologized in public, we went to Roppongi right away to drink. What I did was just a new topic for them. It will be forgotten in three days. Actually that was right. Nobody talks about that now. In fact, the artists who I took charge of laughed and said, “That was really exciting.”
The stiff mood broadened into Osawa’s laughter. Kei was amused, too. Kei thought that he would have been delighted if he was on that occasion. But Osawa drowned out his smile immediately and said. It was a strong tone like demanding himself.
“And a total of listeners for my program never drop to “0”. If a number close to “0” was left, the listeners were actual listeners. We make programs and broadcast for them.”
Osawa’s eyes fell on the display again. A meaningless list of English letters appeared on the display was reflected clearly in the sunglasses. Kei sat down again and asked a question prepared. Kei noticed that his voice was trembling.
“What about your wife and child?”
“Why do you stick at that? If I were a normal office worker, this will end to a normal, trashy story. But I’m different. I am in the business with artists who steered music scenes in Japan. Their sense was totally different from general sense. That’s why I was attracted, and I must keep on supporting it. Do you understand what I want to say?”
On April 29 2011 220 Views